Lets Make These Big City Dreams Come True

I cant believe we're actually planning this. It will never work. My father couldn't possibly agree to it. And I honestly think it'd hurt him. But I'd be home on weekends. And days off. I just want to get away. I'm tired of things. And I don't think staying is healthy. I'm worried about my goddamn self. If I lived with my best friend, maybe things could be better. I don't want to leave a few people. But perhaps it's for the best. They'll forget me in a few years any way. This will just be a head start. And I would still visit and come to shows. I could get involved in a new school. I'd know these people for a year. A year isn't long enough to get close to anyone. Not close enough to see the real them. Or for them to see the real me. It'd be easier that way. Just like it's easier if I leave this year. Not that many will care that much anyway. I'm not saying people won't, not at all. I'm just saying...it's not a big difference. I'm one person. And besides, it'd be better if I left. For everyone involved. I sound ridiculous right now. I can't believe we're planning this. And it would work. If I didn't have every requirement I'd have no problem taking an online course or two. I'd have a whole new theatre group to impress. I could start over, be someone else. Live with my best friend. It would work. We're getting all the information. But there's only a sliver of a chance that my father will allow it. And how do I even present such an idea to him? I'll do it academically of course. There's a chance, a shimmer of hope. But maybe, just maybe, things will look up. And I'll have no desire at all to leave. Until then I hold fast to the miniscule beam of hope. The hope that this pieced together dream won't fall a part at the seams.