So. I don't really have anything to say. I'm merely posting to please Jenna. :D anyway...um. Yea I'm kind of disappointed, not gonna lie. But whatever, I'll suck it up and live with it.
Side not, I miss you. Is it weird that I think of you when I see a yogurt commercial? I remember the time I wanted to eat healthy so you kept buying yogurt, one time you accidentally bought the fruit on the bottom kind. That shit's nasty, just sayin. It's such a pointless memory, but I miss grocery shopping with you. I miss you,
I wanna go back to the time when you were calm. We could talk. We shopped, talked, watched tv, did nothing. You used to know me. Like you were supposed to. You knew what I would want, what I would wear, how I would react, when I needed a break. God, I miss it so much. But those moments were scattered. Remember when we ate at bangkok 96? You still remember it's my favorite restaurant. I pray one day, (soon?), we can go back there. We can eat lunch and shop, like a mother and daughter should. I can talk to you. I can fight with you. Yell at you. Argue. But instead of arguing about your mistakes, it'd be about me. I'd want to do something, or we'd disagree. Something normal like that. I keep crying, and I hate it. But everywhere I look, I can't get away from talk about mothers. Every joke, half the things my friends like, it includes, your mom or the mom. So many stories. I hear them all the time. I see my friends with their mothers, and it just isn't right. It's not fair. I think it'd be easier if I didn't know what I was missing out on. Honestly, part of me wishes we'd never had those moments. Because at least then I wouldn't know what it was like. I wouldn't miss it so much. It just isn't fucking fair. I hate it. All of this, it's so wrong. And yea, I have aunts, sisters, paige's mom. But it's not the same. Trust me. So far from it. My aunt was going to get her wedding dress with her mom last week...I'll probably never get that chance. I remember my sisters and stepsisters talking to my mom about guys, and about my nieces all throughout the years. I won't have that. I went with my aunt to visit my cousin at school. They stayed up all night talking. My aunt kept taking us out places. She took my cousin shopping for everything she needed...My mom won't be doing that two years from now. I accept it, but it hurts. Fuck, sorry. I'm gonna stop ranting now.