I Never Said Goodybe

We're going tomorrow
Up north,
To the cabin.
It doesn't feel right,
Knowing you won't be there.
Nothing feels right, right now.
I wish I could ask you
For answers
I still can't find,
I feel so alone already
It doesn't help that so many are missing.
And this feeling keeps coming back,
I can't take it much longer,
And I wish I had tried to say
Goodbye,
I tried,
Just not soon enough,
I should've called,
Not ran away.
I couldn't face my past,
And all of you were a part of it,
Except you were one of the best parts
Thank you for being a mother to me
Thank you for having the daughter that you did,
And thank you for bringing us together,
We haven't gone to the same school,
Or lived in the same city
Since third grade,
But you kept us together
And when I ran away,
Grew apart from you,
Your daughter,
And one other,
You brought the trio back together
In your final act.
I ought to remember I'm loved,
I'm not alone,
Far from it,
But that can be so hard to see,
Nothing feels right anymore,
But I'll hold steady,
It's all I can do.
I'm balanced,
Worthy,
Beautiful,
Exceptional,
Captivating,
Trustworthy,
And strong.
And I will believe this,
I won't stop trying until I do.
And when I lose the will,
I'll do it for you,
Even when I become convinced,
You care
Not at all.
Anyway,
Tonight was wonderful.
My bed,
And my warm blankets are waiting for me
Goodnight.
Sleep well.