Well

I guess you were right. I just wasn't strong enough to admit it to myself, but I'm strong enough to fight it now. And I will. I will not become another statistic. I could rant about that last sentence, but I won't. All I know is that this is going to end. That's that. And I know I don't make much sense. I'm not trying to do. Perhaps, I haven't lost as much as it feels like right now. But one more slip up, and it will all be gone. That won't happen. This time around I'm going to change it. Because this time I've recognized what's going on. I'll swallow the truth. Then I'll make it false. I will go back to what I want me to be. I may be more alone this time, but that's noone's fault but my own. It's time for a change. I only hope second chances will follow it. But most of that is up to me. I hid so much from myself, I'm only starting to see all of it. It's pathetic, pitiful, and just plain sad. Nonetheless, it's going to end. All of it. Starting right now. Well, technically before right now. Whatever. The point is clear. I think. It's clear to me. I know what I am going to do.I will do more this time. I see more this time. This is it. I'm sorry to all of you. I hurt you on my way here. More than once. You're probably gone forever. That is my own fault. I will do what I have to, and once this has changed. Only then can I even hope for the possibility of you speaking to me. This is it. I'm ashamed, I'll admit. That's why I'm ending this post soon. Talk is talk adn nothing more. And this one made little sense. Either way, I know much more than I did. Hopefully the knowledge is enough.
Sorry won't mean much at this point, but as I have said. I'm sorry. Such meaningless words at this point, my use of them is even causing me to shake my head. All of it is. Now for me to finally get the hell on the road to something[someone] better.