Absence

They have become puppets of ignorance.
They wear masks and bleed ink-filled hopelessness.
With eyes staring blankly, they see all lies.
Through the night they only hear woeful cries.
Smiles reflect grotesque imitations
That are void of any true sensations.
Striving for perfection, the fall away,
Believing they have nothing to say.

I wrote this in algebra 2 today, it isn't even finished. Sadly, it's the first thing I have written in ages. I haven't been capable of writing anything lately. I'm too busy searching for answers to questions that I keep trying to avoid. I usually have the answers, not all of them, but most. Lately, I have none. I'm so lost, and it's tearing me apart. I'm terrified. So much has happened, and it doesn't end. I'm terrified beyond all belief, of so many things. It's spinning out of hand. I wish I knew what to do, but I don't even know how to find the answers. This is tripping me up. Life is pulling the ground out from beneath my feet and I'm tumbling into a void that's unknown, and yet known. I just...I don't even know. I need to get away, far away, to go do some serious soul-searching. Completely off topic, I really want to do this law and csi program in D.C. that I got nominated for this summer, but I don't think if we can afford it. It's incredibly frustrating. This thing is so perfect for me. Can someone up there send me some answers, or at least make me feel a little less alone. I'll keep fighting and keep trying, but can I get some progress? Please. If not, can I at least get some adventure, acceptance, or a lessening of this loneliness? S'il vous plait. Anyway, I should get off.