I like yellow gummy bears

Poetry

So, I wrote these for creative writing. That means they were supposed to be written a certain way and maybe about a certain theme, but anyway here ya go.

Just a spirit floating through
Air and time, so look
Inside this heart and find
My story, my truth
Everything is not as it seems

Dar, black, empty night
Unidentified sounds
Echoing past us

I know a war
The stench of death always
Close by, invading nostrils
A simple reminder
I know a war
Pop, pop, pop
Go the guns
The booms of cannons
Cries and shouts of the fallen
I know a war
Watching man fight man
Bodies covering the ground
Children holding weapons
I know a war
The taste of gunpowder
Rotten eggs on my tongue
Tough meat
Hard bread
I know a war
The cool metal
Of this gun in my hands
My buddy's arm
Around my shoulder
Kiss on the cheek
From a child I saved
I know the war


His now detached tone made my heart pound fast
Such a pitiful little fool I'd been
What they said was true, these things never last
Takes an effort just to pick up my pen
This faithful tool that I have always had
Just like him, it has abandoned me now
The ink has run out, can't even get mad
The paper's too thin, so just take a bow
Hear the applause for the joke that I am
Trying to smother memories of you
Shaking hard, I now know you were a scam
Crying hard, I have forgotten my cue
The show is over, I hope you enjoyed
The curtain's closed, he must be overjoyed

Mirror
Twisted, clear
Falling, turning, crashing
Onto the cold, hard, tiled floor
Glass

Silly little bird
Watching from so far away
Fly down to us here

So empty, but still
Pulling them
Along, through folds and
Cracks. They are somewhere
Else, never knowing if they are alone

"Come! Come! Take a seat."
Cries the ringmaster
Feet pound in a steady beat
"Hurry! Hurry! Faster! Faster!"
"Men, women, come one come all!"
Everyone's waiting for the show
"Now! Now!" the voices call
What to expect? they did not know
A tiger is brought out
Released into the ring
The audience begins to shout
A cage is carried into the ring
Eyes peered closely
Eyes stared back
It opened slowly
Tiger circles the rat
Laughs and screams
Rang out through the ring, the con
The circus fell apart at the seems
The hunt was on
Doors locked, and gates-down they came
They were trapped in the game

well that's all for now. by the way please post what you think the last one is about. it's very metaphorical. the rest are straightforward.

I'm Only Human Sometimes

Don't worry, i'll stop ranting bs and start posting poems and whatnot soon. I said soon. Not today.
Again my mind is spinning. I think I have spring fever. I'm way too ready for summer, which is absurd. It shouldn't be summer. That means change, graduation, vacation, change, then 11th grade...11th..grade..what..the..fuckkkkk!! s'cuse my french. But for real. 11th. A junior. 17. Oh my goddess. What! How the HELL did that happen. I feel like I blinked and now I'm somewhere entirely different. I rant about this way too often. Time for something else. Well i'm finding myself..again. I'm getting back to myself. Sorry i left, but I'm back. Hopefully I won't do that again...i think I'm back atleast. Maybe. i'm almost there. I'm workin on everything i can to help myself. I got a guitar and started to learn how to play. I'm still procrastinating horribly. Hopefully I'll get all the way back on my feet again soon. I'm getting there, and I'm not alone. I have my fierce best friend paige :D and twit :D and my family and some a few old childhood friends and now I have a number of new and amazing friends. I love all of them, they're absolutely amazing. Some of them know everything, others don't. But it doesn't matter. Each of these people is there for me and i am infinitely grateful for that. Things changed, we changed, but the people around me...i can't describe them. If you're reading this, it's probably because you're one of them. Although very few of my close friends actually read this. lol. Ah well. I love you guys.

This is what I do instead of my homework

Take my hand
Lead me away
Wrap your arms about me
Keep me safe
Brush a hair from my face
Tuck me in at night
Kiss my forehead
Pull me to your chest
Hold me there
Wake me up in the morning
Show me how to do my hair
So pretty like yours
Remind me i'm beautiful no matter what
Help me clean up a glass of spilt milk
Teach me how to love
First crush comes along
Show me how to put my makeup on
Remind me I'm beautiful
Tell me how to flirt
Send me off on a first date
Make sure daddy won't embarrass me
Smile and listen when I tell you
Oh mom how he can kiss
He's a gentleman
He's my world
First inevitable heart break
Bring me chocolate ice cream
Tell me no boy's worth it
Tell me I'll meet more
Hold me tight
Tell me baby everythin is gonna be alright
Place the veil atop my hair
Hold my hand and promise
I'll always be your baby girl
Let tears fall from your eyes
As you see me in my wedding dress
I call you in the middle of the night
Mom she cries and cries
I changed her, I fed her, I held her
What do i do? I cry
You come right over, take her from my arms.
You give her tylenol
Brush a hair from my face
Kiss my forehead
Send me to bed
To sleep the night
Away
She taught me to be lady
She taught me how to love
To be a mom
To be a strong woman
An independent woman
To take charge
How to take care of myself
How to be myself
Showed me confidence
Comfort
Love
Family
Hardwork
And a strength that never runs out
I wake up
It was only a dream
If only it were true
If only it were you

Well now.

This post is just going to be a rant so feel free to skip it if you want. I'm hoping by getting this all written down I will be able to do my creative writing homework. and maybe get 5 hours of sleep. no nightmares.

I can't believe all of this. So much has changed. Especially in the past two or three years. I...am actually at a loss for words. Change is one of my biggest fears. This doesn't really fit my personality...wait ok yea it does. Nevermind. The fact that I'm here, now, with the people i'm with, doing the things I'm doing, is almost incomprehensible to me. In 8th grade and before that life was a very different world. Very. Mostly 4th to 8th. I'm not gonna sit here and go into details. No one cares. Besides I'm not there anymore so I don't need to focus on it. It's simply amazing though. I never thought I'd be where I am now. Sure i hoped, prayed, cried. All the works. But now I've really made it. Things sure as hell aren't easy. But I made it this far. And i'm stronger. I'm me. I've got this, but those facts don't stop me from breaking down. They don't stop the pains in my chest, the stopping of my breathe the occasional, not too frequent nightmares, the anxiety, the stress, and all that. In time i will do that, and I'm getting there. But not alone. I've found some really amazing people in this life. Sadly, I don't still have all of them, or we're just more distant. Every day I'm reminded of how wonderful things are. But i just...i cant believe how much my life changed. I feel like a different person, surrounded by different people. For example in 8th grade i met someone, we became best friends, 9th grade, i fell in love, hard, real hard, now we don't speak. Crazy huh. In 8th grade i never would've said i'd fall that hard for that person, in 9th i'd swear on everything possible it would have never ended like this. Another example, my best and closest friend(i know you're gonna end up reading this eventually, i love you, we'll talk soon) are having issues i would never have imagined. Another example are the friends I've found this past year. Some of you may read this, others won't. I'm amazed at the people i have, but im also terrified. I'm afraid of being betrayed, judged, left, etc etc. It all scares me. I wonder how much i can tell certain people. How much they see or care. I'm so terrified of the future. I mean I'm not like omg omg my lifes gonna be awful. it's just this...scary feeling. Knowing and not knowing whats coming. Knowing absolutely EVERYTHING is just gonna keep changing. I don't know where my ground is or what to hold onto with all this shit passing and leaving and changing. I just don't know. I need to go do homework. Sigh. Now where are we at? sorry for all that. ciao loves.

Silver nights

The everlasting darkness becomes a silver night
A night lit by the souls
That gave me new sight
They began to fill the holes
New memories being made
But each one takes me away
To another me, another life, and I am afraid
I want the present to stay
But the my mind passes through time and space
It travels to other days
And yet leaving behind not a trace
They steal me away from the nostalgia haze
Pulling me back
And holding me where I need to be
With them, there is nothing I lack
It was about time I open my eyes and see
These people who surround me
No words can describe
What I have found in this second chance
I am now alive
I have entered the dance

Broken promises lay scattered across this bedroom floor
Filling the emptiness up to the brim
Silent reminders
Of every past memory,
Of all the regrets,
Of each moment I long for
The silence is
screaming
It's roar is
Deafening
My hands tremble
Will this ever
End