Love and Loss.

quick note there will be much swearing in this post.
One of my closest childhood's friend's(allison)mom passed away(becky). I lost contact with Allison and our other friend Angelika after the last summer. I contacted them last month. I'm so glad I did. But I didn't get to say goodbye to Becky. I should have called her, but I didn't. I was going to see her soon. It just isn't right. They were a wonderful family. Becky was fucking wonderful. Every person who met her loved her. They didn't deserve this. I don't understand it. I don't get why. Why her? Why ever? This world makes no fucking sense to me. It's fucked up. It's cruel. It throws shit in your face on a regular fucking basis. Then it laughs. We aren't in control. This place is just a living hell. And when you have one of those people who makes the hell better the world takes them away too. It doesn't fucking care. Things happen every day that we can't control. So what the hell are supposed to do? What the fuck is all this shit for? Where in the hell are we going? i don't know, i don't fucking know. I can't grasp it. I jsust want to be able to explain the inexplicable. To grasp a a tornado. To see the wind. To hear the souls. To taste music. This world is fucked up, but I know we can change it. Little by little. Person by person. We are changing it. Whether or not things happen for a reason. They still happen. And then more shit happens and we can say it was the reason. Or we can make our own reasons. This is what we make it. We can control it. Turn it around. Good things can come from shitty situations. Or it can all turn to fucking shit. It's your decision
i sound bi-polar, seriously.
formspring.me/jaimenichole
ciao my loves